Billowing Robes
by Ophiuchus
Summary: Harry'd never admit it, but the way Snape's robes billow behind him is a really cool effect. One potions class, Harry and his friends discover the secret behind the billowing robes... Oneshot. Complete.


We read one too many stories about how robes can billow. An off-color comment by my husband brought this to light.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR et al. Whoppers belongs to Hershey's.

**Billowing Robes**

Everybody was already in their seats waiting for the potions class to start when the door slammed open and Snape walked in, robes billowing behind him. The class immediately quieted.

Harry and Neville were seated together. Neville had been doing much better in potions class lately. He had confided to Harry that he was determined to not lose his focus and was even able to block out most of what happened in class, even to the extent of ignoring Snape's jibes. His potions had improved and he hadn't blown up any cauldrons in three weeks now.

Neville gave as much of a sigh beside Harry as he could. He was suffering from a severe cold. "You hab to gib the git sub credid. He knows how to bake an entrance."

Harry nodded. He didn't like Snape and sincerely doubted he ever would, but he did have respect for the man's dramatic flair. He had presence. Between the noise of the door, his frowning face and the menacing billow to his robes, he could control a room in an instant. Harry frowned for a moment. It could also have to do with the instant detentions and loss of points if you didn't quickly settle down, too.

His thoughts turned again to Snape's robes. It pained him to admit it was a pretty cool effect. Only in the deepest, most secret part of his brain he would admit to trying to duplicate the effect with his own robes at times when he was assured of complete privacy. He had never quite been able to do it. The closest he could get is a brief swirl or flair and then the robes fell flat again, like they did for everyone who didn't seem to be Snape. He wondered if he bought his robes with some special charm to make them billow so easily.

Harry broke free from his thoughts. He noticed the instructions for today's brew were already on the board. He, along with the rest of the class, got the ingredients they would need and started to prepare them. He looked across and saw Neville already in his own little world. He was just crushing his beetle eyes when Ron's muffled laughter reached Harry's ears.

Harry looked up to see Ron being quietly berated by Hermione in the seats in front of him. Ron's wand was pointed in Malfoy's direction, near the front of the class. Harry followed the sight to see what was up. Snape was currently looming over the front of Malfoy's table peering into his cauldron and from the angle of Malfoy's head, Harry bet he had a smug look on his face. On the back of his robes, however, words were formed Harry was sure hadn't been there before. Harry sniggered to see Malfoy with the words "Kick me" in bright green across the back of his robes.

Hermione apparently realized that Ron was not about to undo the spell anytime soon, so with a muttered "Honestly!" she sent a "Finite Incantatem" in Malfoy's direction. Unfortunately, Snape had just finished admiring his favorite student's potion and moved into the line of fire of Hermione's spell, robes flaring behind him. The spell hit.

Harry was surprised when the only thing that seemed to happen was Snape's robes seemed to lose the extra swirl they had a moment before and Malfoy's nose twitched.

Harry wondered what was up when Malfoy's face suddenly started to contort in many different expressions that mostly reminded Harry of Mrs. Malfoy. Then he turned green. His hand flew to his mouth as he started to gag.

Harry had been so fascinated by the contortions of his rival, he hadn't noticed the girl on the other side of Malfoy collapse. As Snape made his way towards the back of the room, students he passed suddenly seemed to get alarmed looks and reach for their noses. As he neared, Harry could have sworn he heard the faint sound of Fred and George's Whoopee Cushion Whoppers, the most recent Weasley Wizarding Wheeze developed to aid in pranking a subject with total embarrassment. Suddenly Harry noticed the sounds correlated with a slight puff of Snape's robes as he walked.

By now, half the class trailing the teacher's path was on the floor, unconscious, and the other half were gagging. Even the lab rats in the cages seemed passed out.

Snape must have finally figured something was wrong as he whirled around, robes briefly flaring, to see what was wrong with the class.

Hermione, being a girl who's two best friends were teenaged boys, had been exposed to a variety of crude physical humor over the years. Being a rather bright girl, she quickly put together the various details of hands going to either the throat or nose, gags or passing out in correlation to the potion masters path through the classroom. As he whirled and the robes briefly flared in her direction, she had an epiphany. She gave a brief shriek and quickly performed a bubble-head charm before it would be too late and breathable air would be gone. Harry just looked at her incredulously, wondering why she would do such a thing in a potions class, when no one had even started brewing their potion yet.

Suddenly, a wall seemed to hit Ron and he started to gasp, "Gulpin' gargoyles!" Then his eyes rolled up and he fell to the floor.

A moment later, Harry's confusion was ended as the wall of smell hit him. His eyes instantly teared up at the smell worse than a thousand dung bombs. Harry doubled over. He would never again tease Hermione for reading ahead. He wished had known the bubble-head charm!

With a hulking big nose like he had, how could Snape not smell what he was emitting? Harry figured Snape must have burned out all his sense of smell with all the potion fumes he sniffed.

Through his tears he could see Hermione trying to revive Ron, while muttering, "Professor Snape's robes must have had some kind of containment charm on them."

"Merlin's beard, Hermione! Have some mercy! Let him stay unconscious!" Harry gasped out. The methane build up was increasing by the moment. Never again would Harry want his robes to billow like Snape's. Suddenly his eyes widened in horror. Neville hadn't noticed and was about to light a fire under his cauldron.

"Neville! Nooooo!"

- 0 – 0 – 0 –

When Harry woke up in the hospital wing, he could hear Neville's voice amidst the moans of other students.

"Bud I don'd know why my potion exploded! I hadn't eben started it yet!"

_Finite Incantatem_ (The end)


End file.
